At 2:30am EST on Saturday morning, Charmane and I awoke from our bed and packed the finishing touches into Charmane's bag. I wish I could say it was seamless, but I think a combination of nerves and the finality of it all made us an unorganized mess. We couldn't remember where we put things before we went to sleep only 2 hours before. We had to unpack bags and make sure certain things were actually inside them and we were still pretty tired overall. But at about 4am we, along with Charmane's brother who had offered to drive me back home, were on the road. Only an hour off from our goal, but we misjudged the distance of our house to JFK anyway.
At 6am, we pulled up to her terminal and said our goodbyes. The scene wasn't able to be that long since it was a clusterfuck just getting to unload the car. Homeland security has made it pretty difficult to have long, drawn out goodbyes at the airport. That's not really a complaint, I guess.
Very shortly after, we had to make our way back. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, but I did have a lot on my mind the ride back. Mostly, "Holy shit, I won't see my girlfriend for 3 months." Not that I haven't had this thought before, but looking at her from the rearview mirror as we drove away sold it.
I got back home and immediately got back in bed to sob a bit. I was supposed to be going to the beach in about an hour and a half, but I needed a minute to myself. Not to mention that I'd been up since 2:30am and now it was going on 8. When I finally did make my way to my friend's house to carpool to the beach, I was much more functional. In fact, the entire day I was fine. Though I did get some reminders that I was alone via text messages throughout the day, everyone was very polite and kept the "how ya doin' there, slugger?" type questions to a minimum.
After the beach, my friends and I decided to have a cookout. We chatted and I checked my phone obsessively to see if Charmane would call. I had decided to face the afternoon drunk, so when she Skyped me around 11pm EST, I was too tipsy to get home just yet. I separated myself from the rest of the group and had a nice chat with her. I cried a little too. Something about chatting with her in a Japanese airport really drove it home that she was halfway around the world from me. But I was able to have the chat and return back to my gathering.
It wasn't until after the beach, after the cookout and when I came home to a quiet house that I realized I was going to be alone. 4 months of falling asleep by myself. Bed time is definitely my favorite time with Charmane. Usually she's playing Bejeweled on her phone and I'm reading a book. Whatever 10pm show that we've settled on is coming through the speakers. Every now and then, one of us interrupts the silence with a story about our day, a thought about our next career move, remembering a silly thing one of our friends did. And at 11pm we switch to The Hallmark Channel and watch Golden Girls until we drift off to sleep. It's really the little things that are going to be the hardest to do without for these 4 months. Charmane is both my love and best friend. I know we can be without each other, but some days it's going to suck a lot.
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